What a time! Covid-19, political coups, social media coups...do we REALLY need ultra-powerful cell service jiggering with our brains and fiddling with our DNA? (The Aardvark pauses to adjust his foil hat.) I mean, that's what THEY say it will do, right?

Here is our remedy: The Aardvark's almost patented "5G Repellent Shirt"! Remember those gold foil sticky antennas you could stick on your cell battery to increase its range and power? Well, this shirt will do AT LEAST that well! That, or it will just make an amusing statement about uber-technology in everyday life.

Printed in gold, and amusing statement red, on a 100% cotton softstyle tee (S-2X) or on Gildan traditional style tee shirt (3X-5X), this eye-catching design may improve your life, or else just become your favorite shirt. Happy 2021!